Read this and you’re guaranteed to win the lottery

Just kidding.  You cant with the lottery.  It’s clearly a conspiracy theory.  I am so fed up with the lottery but I can’t stop playing.  How does it all work?  What does it all mean?  AHHHHH!!


Essentially, lotteries are operated and regulated by national, state, or provincial governments, and cities.  Lottery tickets are sold so prevalently you might as well start using them as toilet paper instead of taking the time to scratch off another losing ticket.  Lottery tickets are sold at more than 2o3,000 locations in North America.  Most commonly, they are sold at convenience because these are places that get the most foot traffic on a daily basis.  How does it work?  Retailers are paid a very small commission usually about 5% per ticket and sometimes more if they sell a winning ticket.  But, lets be honest.  They don’t sell winning tickets and if they did the government would probably hoard the money anyway like they do with every other penny that floats through our currency system.

Lottery ticket sales were almost  $262 billion last year.  At this point, I am pretty much convinced I might as well walk down to D.C. and hand my money directly to the government.  I mean its not like the government doesn’t already receive enough money from me, raising taxes faster than I can blink my eyes.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the government is working on a plan to raise taxes again right now as I write this post.

One story in specific comes to mind when I think about the lottery.  Last week, I went into the store and bought a lottery ticket.  I won but my prize was as an additional free ticket from the same strand of tickets that I had just brought.  Now, I think to myself what the hell could the chances possibly be that the next ticket in that row is actually going to be a prize when the ticket before it essentially just gave me the right to get one additional ticket.  Well, I am pretty sure the percent of me winning on the next ticket would be 0%.  So i get the next ticket, anxiously scratch it off like a kid on Christmas morning and of course I win nothing.  Being the sucker that I am I buy one more ticket.  I scratch it off and what a surprise-my prize is one additional ticket.  I get the next ticket in the row and of course I win nothing.

The government has created the lottery in order to create another widespread addiction where they can funnel more of people’s money into their system.  It’s ludicrous at this point.  What scheme will they come up with next?


8 thoughts on “Read this and you’re guaranteed to win the lottery

  1. I have to say that I don’t believe the lottery is as much of a conspiracy as it is a huge scam. People are choosing to waste their own money on the tickets. No one is forcing anyone to partcipate in the game. It’s just like gambling. The casinos make so much money off of all of their different games. Is it better that the casinos can make all that money and the government is wrong in collecting money from the lottery? I’ve never gambled and I also have never bought a lottery ticket so maybe I am currently blissfully immune to the addictive powers of the games. But from an outsiders perspective, I don’t really think the government is conspiring against its taxpayers to spend their money on lottery tickets.

    • I agree that the lottery is a huge scam. They print out so few winning tickets that they know hardly anyone will win. And the odds of people choosing the right numbers for the big lottery is so slim. Even when people get lucky so much of the lottery winnings are taken away from the winner through taxes and who knows what. Honestly the government is smart to profit off of the stupidity of American’s who believe they will win billions of dollars by buying one 1 dollar ticket.

    • I agree with you as well. The lottery is definitely a scam, and it actually surprises me that people haven’t given up on this form of gambling. I still remember the times I would be in a grocery store with my mom or dad and look at all of the cool colored tickets and would sometimes ask for one. My parents would always say that these were a waste of money–TRUE FACT. The odds of winning are probably less than one in a million…so would I rather drop a few bucks into a lottery ticket machine or go get myself an ice cream cone?

  2. I agree with you overall. The lottery is a tax (and a regressive one in how it actually gets paid) that the people have conspired with the government to inflict on themselves. It is a conspiracy in plain sight.

  3. I feel like I have to comment on a specific part of your post and that is that the scratch-offs are put in an order to scam you and prevent you from making money. For birthday presents for friends in high school we used to by them X amount of tickets for their X birthday. One of my friends turned 20 and we got her 20 lottery tickets. We bought them in 2 separate 10-ticket rolls. We figured if we bought from 2 types but bought the next 10 in a row from each, we would increase her odds at winning. Well, she began scratching them off and I am not joking when I say this but after 18 tickets she only won 7 dollars. At this point I would have thought scam. The next ticket was scratched off and what do ya’ know, it was worth a whopping $40. I was surprised to see this. She had one more ticket, which was connected to this most recent winner so naturally I assumed they wouldn’t put two winners in a row. Wrong again. Not only was it a winner, it was another $40 winner. In two connected tickets, she won $80 dollars. A little different than your experience.

    But then again…maybe they put those two in a row to get people off the conspiracy theory trail….

  4. Great post…I’m not a fan of the scratch off lottery tickets, but the giant prize ones – powerball and mega millions. When ever the pot gets over 200 million it’s fun to throw 5 dollars into a pot with a bunch of friends for a chance to change your life. Sure you know in the back of your mind that you are not going to win, but up until the drawing the whole time you’re thinking, “Why not, it could be me…”


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