Don’t Hate Me…


I never thought I would be “old-fashioned.”  I was the second sophomore male in my high school to pierce my ear.  My mom was WAY out there with sex ed for me (she told me it was important to be a good lover in life).  And I had an older brother who perhaps numbed my parents into not worrying overly much about me.

But, looking at this discussion, I feel a little old-fashioned.  One aspect that stood out for me in the CC report was that nationally there is a shift among young adults away from serial monogamy (date-break-up-date) towards the “hook up” culture.  Is this true here?

I don’t see enough students paired off, walking around, holding hands.  It is spring…gather ye rosebuds and fertility and all that crap.  And when I do see a pair of students holding hands, they do look a little defensive, a little like they know it is an act of defiance in a culture that loves sexualized imagery and frowns on self-limit.

That is all I wanted to say.  I think your lives here would be better if there was a little more old–fashioned romance, wooing, courting, and such.  By better, I do not mean you agree with me.  I mean better in measurable ways.  Longer-term relationships will lead to more emotional growth and maturity.  They also likely cut down on STDs.   They also ut sexuality back in the context of love and relationships and not simply a commodified form of pleasure.  In fact, given the burgeoning acceptance of gayness, you all can even improve on the “old” old-fashioned romance model.  Have you ever seen two men and two women holding hands in public around here?

And, you never know, you may find a love of your life.  I don’t mean “the.”  But “a.”  Given the freedom to make and break relationships in our society now (which is a victory for gender equality), the new normal should be several “a love of my life”s.

That is all.  You may go back to socially constructing the nefarious and cover plot by ‘the man” to strip you of your first amendment right to have fun.”  😉

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6 thoughts on “Don’t Hate Me…

  1. Great observation! I do think it is some kind of epidemic that needs to be paid attention to so that we can get back to the days of courting and growing long lasting relationships!

  2. Though I’m someone who has been an a relationship in some way or another through most of college, I’ll actually disagree. I do wish there was more opportunity for traditional dating on campus, but I think that what we need is reformed sex ed.

    I don’t think we’ll change the culture here, no matter what we do, and I think our first step needs to be making life safer and more informed. That, however, is also my opinion on a national scale.

    As for Bucknell, my interesting observation is that I see a fair amount of LGBT* couples around campus- in fact, my understanding of that dating scene is that it’s almost exclusively dedicated relationships and little casual hookups. Probably because it’s a small pool, but I don’t want to state anything as fact that we can’t ever know for sure.

  3. I completely agree with you here. I really wish that there was more monogamy on our campus. Maybe if there were then there wouldn’t be such a terrible problem with gender unequal gender dynamics, another issue the CC report cited.

  4. COMPLETELY AGREE!!! When I came to Bucknell, one of the first things I heard was that 70% of Bucknellians end up marrying another Bucknellian. I was expecting that most people here would want to be in relationships, but I was wrong. From my experience, most WOMEN want to be in relationships, but most Bucknell MEN don’t. Because of this, we Bucknell women cover up our desires for a monogomous relationship and settle for hooking up with sweaty frat boys so that we are not seen as “that clingy girl”. Even the Bucknell men that I have spoken to that DO want relationships feel pressured to stay single by their peers. It turns out that most of the 70% of Bucknellians that marry eachother do not start dating until AFTER graduation. All I can say is thank goodness I found a boyfriend from home that loves to take me on dates, surprise me with flowers, and do other little things that make me feel appreciated.

  5. At the moment sex ed is just teaching students to hook up “with brains”. It definitely has to be changed and expanded, which is what I totally agree on with you. However, commodification of relationships is only another logical step in a materialistic world we live. Had I been in mood right now, I would probably say that students are at turning point in their lives, where they try to be adults. Hence, they abandon what they believe made them childish, including naive hope for love and romantic attitude. Being more pragmatic they act in way that is supposed to be mature and reject long-term relationship, for it might cause pain and, what is more important, inconvenience. Finally, students are young – they are like butterflies just born from a cocoon – and are willing to fly.

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