Pompous Ass

Good morning baby, my wife will say. Already woken up by Iris, our virtual personal assistant, she is shaking me and telling me to get moving as today is my big day. I stretch and hop out of bed to find that she has already picked out my favorite suit along with my favorite shirt and tie (though I believe Iris helped her). I begin to get dressed in the bathroom while watching the morning news and looking at my calendar built into the mirror. I notice that for the first time in what feels like forever, my calendar is clear. I am accepting my award today for my work in founding the most innovative company of the year.

I arrive downstairs and Iris is just finishing printing my breakfast (yes I said printing). The food is completely fresh and warm as I begin to practice my speech by reading it on the projected teleprompter and listening to myself in the recording. My wife sits at the other end of the table making fun of me, as usual… It was only 10 years ago that I graduated Bucknell, and 5 years ago that I started my company. Using the advancements in technology, we found a way to measure all types of inputs and develop models which all types of companies are using to figure out what their customers want and need. We have also managed to use this mass amount of data to find new trends in the markets, and to find ways to offer new opportunities to the developing world.


Proud of myself (I’m allowing myself to have a bit of hubris today), I wait for my mom and dad to arrive at my house. Together, the four of us step into our Google driverless car and sit around the table drinking coffee and talking about the news as the car brings us to our destination. The drive, which in years past would have taken nearly an hour to complete, took a mere fifteen minutes. We pulled up in front of the hall where I would receive my award.

Afterwards, we left to go celebrate 2023 style. Our car lifted off of the ground and we entered the skynet headed from New York to Dubai to take a week of vacation and relax together. Iris was capable of managing the main aspects of the business for the next week and had strict instructions to only interrupt us if there was an emergency. The beauty of the future is that we only need to worry about the important things. The technology will handle the rest.


4 thoughts on “Pompous Ass

  1. I also wrote about the Google self-driving car and had a very similar idea of a assistant like you presented. Technology in the future is going to be so different than what it is today and we are going to live very different lives. As awesome as it may be, I am still a little scared about the magnitude of jobs that may be lost in the process.

  2. Wow I can’t believe it–printing breakfast, self driving car, getting places much faster by conveniently being able to fly! Who would have thought you could print breakfast or fly in your car to get places quicker? This was such an interesting post to read and really made me think outside the box about how the world might change in the future. Oh, and congrats in advance on your award!


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