Dear Diary…Today The F*ckin’ Cell Phones Crapped Out

April 3rd, 2013

6:45 AM: I am awakened by a bright flash that seems to illuminate the morning sky.  What the hell was that?  I immediately reach for my iPhone to check for what happened.  Shit.  My phone doesn’t even turn on.  I go to my roommate’s room and his phone doesn’t work either.  I now realize my worst fear has come to fruition….all cell phones are now just useless pieces of plastic.  My first class isn’t for another 3 hours so I decide to sleep a little and see if the phones work when I wake up.

10:01 AM:  I awake in a panic.  I overslept and now I’m late for class.  How did that happen?  Oh yeah, my alarm was set on my phone and that’s dead.  I rush to class and apologize to the teacher, but as I look around the class there are at least 6 other students not here yet.  Halfway through the class I get bored as hell.  I can’t check my Facebook, Instagram, Wall Street Journal, Snapchats or Tinder, so I resort to doodling small pictures of animals in ironic situations.  My first picture is of a lion (lyin’) swearing to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  Next to him is a cheetah (cheater) telling a woman he is in a loving relationship with his wife and refuses to commit adultery.   My entertainment is short-lived and now I have to pay attention again.

11:00 AM: Class ends and I am hungry.  I told my friends I would meet them at the Bison at 11:05, but I have to meet a Professor really quick uphill.  I get to the Bison at 11:21 (I got distracted by some chick on the walk over and had a 5 minute conversation).  None of my friends are at the Bison.  I reach into my pocket to give them a call…..damn, I forgot. I decide to grab a table near the TV which is currently airing LIVE with Michael & Kelly, and try to change the channel to ESPN but the damn remote never works in that place.  After 10 minutes of waiting, my friends never show up.  I end up ordering my food and eating alone as I watch Michael Strahan make a fool of himself.  The same girl that I saw on the walk over now sees me eating alone and watching this show…I feel embarrassed.  She giggles directly at me and looks over to her friends to point me out.  They all laugh.  Awkward and alone, I wish I had my phone to act like I actually had friends I was talking to.  Instead, I put my jacket around the chair next to me, a couple used napkins and my drink infront of the other seat, and my backpack on the back of the last seat, making it look like my friends have stepped out for the moment but will return shortly.  At 11:45 I see my friends walking by and I asked them what happened.  They told me they waited but never heard from me, so they went upstairs to the cafe…after all, it was blackened beef salad day and they couldn’t resist.

12:02 PM:  We are walking back to our downtown house when someone brings up the TV show Full House.  “What was Uncle Jesse’s band’s name again?”  This question haunts me because it is on the tip of my tongue but I just can’t recall.  I wish I had my phone to give a quick Google search, but that option is out.  Now I have the unsettling feeling in my head (you know exactly what I’m talking about) and NEED to find this answer.  The next half hour is spent in deep thought, but I’m coming up empty.  Well, my day is now ruined.

3:37 PM:  I get in my car to drive to an obscure store out in the country in search of a birthday gift for my mother.  Somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn.  I am now in a random Pennsylvania town with absolutely no idea of how to get back home.  At this point I usually breakout the Maps app, but just like every other problem I had durung the day, I don’t have my phone.  Now I have to ASK for directions and write them down on a piece of paper (which I don’t have so I end up using a page from the owner’s manual).  On my way home, I have to continuously look down to read the directions.  Out of nowhere, a telephone pole jumps directly into my path (or I drifted off the road…the details are still being worked out) and I have to swerve like a madman to avoid it.  I hit a ditch and my front axel gets ruined.  My car is totaled and I am SCREWED.  I stumble to the nearest gas station to find a landline and contact my house.  I get to the phone but realize I haven’t memorized a phone number since I got my cell phone.  My house number was recently switched and I never took the time to commit it to memory.  Why would I when it was saved in my phone and on the Cloud?  Turns out I have no way of calling my house so I give up.  After an hour of waiting, I finally get a taxi company to bring me home from this distant land.  I go to pay the man and the price is higher than expected.  I want to check my bank statement before I overdraft my account to pay for this, but I can’t because I can’t access internet on the go and I don’t remember my password because it’s saved on my phone.  So I use the card anyway because I don’t have cash and ‘whaddaya’ know, I overdraft.

8:08 PM: I go out for few drinks with my buddies.  My one friend gets WAY too intoxicated and decides he is going to dance on the bar.  Well I want to document this so I have blackmail over my friend for years to come, but realize I can’t because my phone also doubles as my camera.  This one is just going to have to be a memory, and I am not a fan of that.  He’s lucky this time.  After a few more drinks I begin to fraternize with the lady-folk.  One gives me her phone number just in case the phones start working, and like a fool I put the napkin in my pocket.  An hour later my drunk friend spills his Irish Car Bomb on my lap and I lose this chick’s number.  Damnit.  I don’t even remember her name.  I feel like an idiot and now I have no shot of even facebooking this fine young lady.

11:59 PM:   I am laying in my bed…alone…drunk.  I feel like I could use some company this evening, so I go to my phone to send the classic late night text, “You up?”  Well, I can’t do that.  This sucks.  All day I have had problems and not a single one was solved.  OH SHIT! It was Jesse & The Rippers!  That was Uncle Jesse’s band’s name.  Well at least one problem was solved.  My life is miserable without my phone.  I pray that when I wake up the phones work again.  As for now, goodnight cruel world.

Have We All Become Virtual Slaves?

Slave To Your cell Phone-Mobile Phone Addiction-Cell phone slaves-Technology slaves

So I decided to go a slightly different route with this blog post and instead of talking about one particular program I couldn’t live without, I will describe one particular device I cannot live without…

Growing up in the millennial generation, I, like most other members of society who are not stuck in the Stone Age, have become reliant on technology.  Everyday. I find myself glued to two of my possessions, my computer and my cell phone.  It is frightening to think what would happen if I suddenly was without either one of these devices.  However, out of the two I would have to say that my cell phone is slightly more important to me.

Everyday I use my cell phone to send text messages to individuals I have business with or to friends, with whom I would like to make plans.  Besides texting and calling, I also use my phone to check my email and even search the web if I am in a bind and cannot easily access my computer.  While I would rather not admit this, I am definitely 100% reliant on my phone in order to conduct my everyday life.  I almost feel naked without my cell phone (and I am sure I am not alone here).  It makes all forms of communication—email, text, phone calls—so easy to access and all in one place.  My phone keeps me informed and up to date in all areas of my life.  Whether I am emailing a professor, calling my parents, texting friends, or looking up an answer to a simple question using Google, all I have to do is whip out my cell phone and voilà problem solved.  So what would happen if cell phones were suddenly taken off the market?  The world would fall apart…okay, well, maybe not fall apart but it would certainly make accomplishing tasks much more difficult.  Individuals would also have to learn to use other forms of technology to accomplish the same tasks, and who has time for that anymore?

If I did not have a cell phone—a misfortune I have experienced before when I have either lost or broken a phone—I would feel completely cut off from the inner going-ons of my life.  Yes, I could use my computer to email people and search the web, but I would no longer have the convenience of being able to do such tasks on one device, wherever I am.  I would also be unable to call anyone, unless I used a landline (and goodluck finding one of those in the home of anyone under 25 now-a-days).  I would also be completely cut off from texting, as there is no other easy way, as far as I am aware of, to text from another device.  My normal lines of communication would be severed.

The average social life of a person in the 21st century has become dependent on texting.  I mean let’s be real here, when was the last time you called a friend of yours to ask a simple question or just to have a chat? While talking on the phone still happens, it is undeniable that most communication between members of my generation happens via text message.  I remember when I lost my phone for 4 days; it was like I had dropped off the face of the planet.  When I finally got a new phone and informed my friends, I was surprised at how many people responded with statements like “how has it been living in a hole?”  The sad fact is that this statement is actually pretty accurate.  Without my phone I had missed out on a lot of different events.  While I was lucky and had friends that I lived with that could keep me in the loop, not having my phone for those few days was a main hindrance to my social life.  Imagine what would have happened if I lived alone, then it really would have felt like I was living under a rock.

So I want to end this blog post with a couple of questions:  How much do you depend on your cell phone?  Do you agree that if you no longer had that device you would feel isolated, or would you be just fine?  The answers to this question will no doubt depend on whether or not the answerer is a millennial or not.  For example my mother still doesn’t really understand texting.  But for our generation, have we become so dependent on texting that without it we would feel cut off from the rest of our world?  What potential danger does this pose for the future of human relationships?

Are you addicted to your cell phone?  Here is a short 2 minute clip I found from ABC News that talks about cell phone addiction and how it can be just as bad as an addiction to drugs…

Sources: (featured image) (image in post) (video)

No Smartphones …. Guess We’re F**KED


The world today is based around cellphones, and getting even more into, now around smartphones. I use it for everything. Calling, texting, social media, taking pictures, checking bank accounts, looking up stocks, playing games, using GPS, and hell, it’s even a flashlight. There are even more things it can do, but we don’t have the time to get into Siri and all that other stuff. What if one day all the cell towers went out and all mobile satellites came crashing to Earth. I would wake up to my alarm clock on my phone, another useful feature, to see my bars at 0 and my 3G non-existent. I would try to call my parents to see what would happen, but get no signal. I would look online to see to why there was no service, but it be out as well. I would look for a landline, only to laugh and realize, who the f**k has a landline phone nearby? What would I do? I remember last semester when I lost my phone for a week, it was like being a social outcast. I couldn’t get in touch with anyone and they couldn’t get in touch with me. In that week alone, I knew what not having a smartphone, or hell even any cell phone, was like. It was misery. When it was the weekend, I had to walk to their individual houses to see if anyone was around, which was the biggest pain in the ass in the world since we all live seperately. Now, if everyone lost their cell phones and smartphones entirely, it would be like going back to the 6th grade when kids didn’t have phones yet. I would have to call people using landlines, asking their parents if whoever was there, wait a few minutes while they were looking for them, only to get back, “Sorry, he’s not here, I think he went out somewhere.” That was hell. But, here at school, where there are no landlines anywhere, none in the dorms, fraternity houses, or downtown houses; how could I connect with everyone? People would literally not leave each others sides because they knew once they left someone, they were lost until you physically found them again. The social system would collapse. Bucknell would have to call all local phone companies and have landlines installed all over the campus, which sucks because I’m sure at one point they were. We have become so reliable on these devices that just the fact that I lost my smartphone, my life was completely changed. Thats absurd, but that’s the way our society is these days. We have become so reliant on these devices, that without them, we end up in total anarchy. Which is pretty ridiculous since we only had these devices for not even 10 years. All I know is, I experienced it once, and I hope I never have to again. (knock on wood)

Let’s just say the world would look something like this

Cellphones: Our distracting dependency

Nowadays, many parents give their children phones at the age of 10. My father refused to give me a phone till I turned 14 because that is when I started wanting to be more independent by going to the movies, mall, friend’s house, etc. all by myself. However, now you can see kids texting, talking on the phone for hours and checking their facebook constantly throughout the day. You can even see business men/women, teenagers and even older people talking on the phone everywhere. People constantly are attached to their phone to deliver messages to people everywhere. As a matter of fact, mostly everybody depends on it.

People never realize the benefit of cellphones. Just over 50 years ago, people could not instantly contact another person at will. They had to use some land line or mailing service. This may not seem like much of a change, but think about how different your life would be without cellphones. How are you going to contact your parents or significant other when you get into an accident on the road? How are you going to contact the person who forgot to pick you up at the airport? How are people going to contact you when you are at the gym, studying, locker room, doctor, work or wherever?

This past summer I was staying in Lewisburg and my phone broke. I couldn’t get a new one for four days. The first day was kind of relieving, but after, I was lost. I couldn’t call my friends, parents, girlfriend, boss or anyone when I needed them. I was literally stranded if I was not with someone. I couldn’t even access a landline in the fraternity house because there wasn’t one. Then, even if I could, I didn’t know anyone’s number because they were all saved on my phone. I was literally left without a means to communicate with almost anyone. Luckily, I knew my parents number and could talk to them with my friend’s phones.

Now, what if the whole world suddenly lost the ability to use all cellphones? People wouldn’t have friend’s cell phones to use like it did. People’s world would dramatically change. For the first few weeks, many people wouldn’t even have land phones. That means that you would not even be able to contact them. Even for the people who do have land phones, people could only call them with another land phone.. This would drastically change all of our lives. Business men and women couldn’t instantly contact clients or suppliers. Parents could contact kids to see how they are doing or where they are at. Friends couldn’t always talk to another friend at will. People would be forced to memorize numbers and names. They would be forced to actually READ in waiting rooms instead of play games or catch up on facebook on their phones. People would be forced to actually commit to their word more and not be able to back out without screwing another person over because they couldn’t contact them last minute. People wouldn’t be able to contact 911 as easily. There are endless parts of our lives that we would have to change. The beginning stages would be extremely hard to get use too.

However, people would eventually adapt. It would then become the norm and people would be like “ah remember the days we could just call our friends in the car.” However, adapting would not come easy. Our societial social structure would change. People wouldn’t be able to contact someone on their personal phone. They would have to call their landline and hope their home. This would cause people to socialize more with people who live closer and are easier to contact. They would naturally seek out people who are easy to contact because it is the most reliable option. People would need to be less dependent on instant data, and more dependent on people’s word. You cannot instantly tell someone that “you can’t make it” or “you’re running late.”  Overall, it would be more like the 50’s when people were close with neighbors and kids played with neighbors in the yard (but now it would probably be an x-box).

Overall, life without cell phones would completely change. Just think how life without ALL phones would change. It would be catastrophic. But, the good aspect about just cell phones disappearing is that people would be forced to be in the present. They would probably start seeing the world in a different way. People would be less distracted with all the current data everyone is bothered with now.